witifulramblings

Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Day 107: Malaysia Flight 370: Two Parents

In Children, Family, Father, Happiness, Kids, Love, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Travel on March 16, 2014 at 3:15 am

Image

{photo via google search}

Amidst all the news reports surrounding the tragic mystery of Malaysia flight 370, there is one story I find to be most tragic. I guess it strikes a chord with me because it echoes one of my deepest fears–leaving my child to get on a plane and never seeing him again. When Muktesh Mukherjee and his wife Xiaomo Bai got on flight 370, they were intending to vacation and left their two young boys with their grandma. Now those two beautiful boys have to wonder if they will ever see their parents again. I cannot imagine what they must be feeling, I cannot imagine what Muktesh and his wife must have felt the moment they new something was ‘wrong.’

On my last vacation to the UK, I had a panic attack the entire trip (airplane ride and vacation). My partner thought I was legitimately insane for shaking violently when turbulence bounced us around on our way to Italy. But what was really happening, I was thinking of my beautiful little e, I was thinking how much he needs me, and I was praying nothing would happen to me because we need each other.

My heart aches tonight for those two little boys. My heart aches for those parents because I had a glimpse of what they must have felt–times a million. As we pray for their safe return to their little ones, let us all remember how lucky we are to have our love ones present with us in our lives. Sometimes we can forget how special they are when they’re right in front of us.

little e you played a great baseball game today and I love you for it.

to my other love, I love you to the moon around the stars and back again…

to my Ini, thank you for lying against my back while I sleep, you make the best fluffy cuddler…

love, love, love…

and to the Mukherjee family, you’re in our thoughts. I hope they soon find answers because two parents need their two boys.

a whit.

Day 101: On traveling to the store with my son

In Children, Kids, Teaching on October 25, 2013 at 2:48 am

There is always that hectic feeling when you have to run errands (doubly hectic as a single parent because you can never “retire” the children to your partner while you actively escape). There have been many moments, these doubly hectic moments, where the lip has folded out (my son’s lip of course), the head tilts downward, the arms lock at the elbows and then wrap around grabbing the lower back, there’s the occasional emphatic “hmph,” and the eye glare (out and beyond into the distance of course–what child would ever set eyes on a mother in pursuit of the grocery store–for milk–for that child’s morning cereal–oh no). Then there’s the body thrash, it’s abrupt, short, a gentle kick that’s just enough to rock the boat but not enough to sink it.

So many adventures like these have I experienced.

and yet…

Then there’s the moments where parenthood is something else. Something rare, yes rare, that’s right.

There we were, us too, and a dog. En route Famous Footwear to exchange a pair of “too big” clearance-priced basketball shoes. I’d begun my occasional self talk (i.e., I have a complete conversation with myself–an act that I’ve convinced myself only really smart people engage in) when my son interrupted me, “Mom, you know something?” I replied, “What do I know?” “You hold onto a lot. You need to imagine, imagine it’s a big balloon and you just let it float away off into the sky. Or it can be bird, one you hold in your hands and then–you let it fly away.” Then he motioned for me to look behind my seat, there I saw him mimicking his words, “You stand there holding so tightly onto your balloon, but its too hard. Let all the sad things go.”

I asked him where he learned this. He told me it’s what he does when he has to deal with the things in his life that make him sad.

Being a mother is such a multifaceted role, the things we learn from our children are often unexpected, sometimes difficult, but always the greatest lessons we will ever be an audience for.Image

Day 99: On Worrying

In Happiness, Kids, life, Teaching on October 15, 2013 at 5:21 am

F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote his 11 year-old daughter while she was away at summer camp. The object of his letter was simple, he wanted her to know the very things that warrant worry (and the many things that do not). He writes, “my little half-wit–”

Worry about courage
Worry about cleanliness
Worry about efficiency
Worry about horsemanship…
Things not to worry about:
Don’t worry about popular opinion
Don’t worry about dolls
Don’t worry about the past
Don’t worry about the future
Don’t worry about growing up
Don’t worry about anybody getting ahead of you
Don’t worry about triumph
Don’t worry about failure unless it comes through your own fault
Don’t worry about mosquitoes
Don’t worry about flies
Don’t worry about insects in general
Don’t worry about parents
Don’t worry about boys
Don’t worry about disappointments
Don’t worry about pleasures
Don’t worry about satisfactions
Things to think about:
What am I really aiming at?
How good am I really in comparison to my contemporaries in regard to:
(a) Scholarship
(b) Do I really understand about people and am I able to get along with them?
(c) Am I trying to make my body a useful intrument or am I neglecting it?

Day 89: Belated Father’s Day Post

In Children, Family, Kids, life, Love on June 18, 2013 at 5:37 am

This post is late.

I’ve been making list lately and then I try to cross off each thing as I get it done. Blogging has been on my list for the past several days, but I haven’t managed to make it here till now.

Father’s Day was a great one, with my mom and sister out of town, I got to take my Dad to breakfast at his favorite spot in midtown.  Today, as I visited the blogs of my friends, and read all of their Father’s Day posts, it really brought things into perspective.  Their comments, combined with the experience of my own loving Dad, reminded me of the important role a Father plays in his children’s lives.

While we were at breakfast, my Dad commented, “they only made Father’s Day as an afterthought of Mother’s Day.”  I laughed remembering a card I gave my boyfriend last year that said, “Know why Father’s Day is in June? They didn’t want the Dad’s to feel left out.” But really, a Father is so important to his children.  A good one knows exactly what makes their kids happy, sad, and everything in between.  Just like a mom.  A good one never fears grounding their child for bad behavior because they know they will love them for it one day.  A good one takes the time to build up his family and strengthen them through support.  A good one isn’t afraid to show his emotion and care.  A good one can’t wait to throw a ball or play a game in between work. 

My Dad and I reminisced about what a determined, bossy child I was.  I used to make up these “game shows” where everyone in the family was required to participate.  There is actual footage of me commanding each family member to “go,” which meant for them to read their rehearsed part at the exact moment of direction. If it didn’t go as planned, exactly, all hell broke loose.

A good Dad puts on the Wheel of Fortune name tag and lets his ten year-old daughter boss him around for a bit.  A good Dad remembers things like “devil child game shows” and laughs wholeheartedly.  

Thank you Dad for being a good Dad.

a whit. who has grown out of her bossypants.

 

Day 87: What Emilie Parker Taught Me.

In Blogs, Children, Education, Kids, life on March 27, 2013 at 5:39 am

Yesterday I decided to have a pity party for myself.  Thankfully it only took me a restful night sleep to snap out of it. 

This evening I noticed an interview on CBS with Emilie Parker’s parents, a little victim of the Sandy Hook Tragedy, the news anchor mentioned that Alissa, Emilie’s Mother, had started a public blog.  I quickly searched it, found it, and began to read her archives but it was one posting in particular that really touched me, “An Unexpected Letter.” In it she writes of a charcoal drawing of Emilie she received only days after the shooting.  The drawing was accompanied by a letter,

I was immediately impressed with the drawing and was convinced it must have been drawn by a seasoned artist.  To my surprise, it was drawn by an amazing seventeen year old girl who wrote us one of the most touching letters.  In it she said, “Your daughter touched one more life….my own.  At the time of all this occurring I was pleading with God to give me a sign on which path to take with my life, to be an artist, a path that was unsure and I feared, or to peruse a more generic career, that may not mean happiness.  This is the sign I was asking for.  I realized my passion is for art, it is what I was meant to do.  Next year I am attending…….State University and I’m going to major in Art.  I will always remember that little girl whom inspired me to follow my dreams, that beautiful girl named Emilie Parker.”

Alissa goes on to share the dreams she had envisioned for Emilie–she remembers practicing her sight words nightly and making sure she could read every book her teacher sent home.  In the end, though, Alissa realizes it’s not the memory of which sight words Emilie could or couldn’t remember or which reading level she had advanced to…

After loosing Emilie, it is strange how I value all these moments so differently now.  I don’t care nor do I remember which sight words she had down, but I remember how much we laughed and cheered together while we practiced them.  I don’t remember what reading level she had achieved, but I do remember snuggling up with her on the couch and watching the excitement of a whole new world being discovered through her eyes in the story she was reading.   At meal times, she didn’t always eat her vegetables and she could never seem to stay in her seat….but there was never dull moment as Emilie would tell us story after story and we would all laughed together as a family.  I look back and have no regrets about Emilie’s life with us.  It wasn’t about being perfect or always doing the right thing; it was about experiencing and loving life together as a family.

She goes on to reveal her hopes that her daughters fulfill their passions in life–that they choose a path that will make them happy most of all.  She marks that she hopes she can make her daughter proud with the life she chooses to go on living.

Much of my bad day centered around my disappointment and uncertainty in my choices.  Wondering how I will make a career out of the education I have pursued.  This post gave me a new perspective, though, that is, we only have one life to touch our dreams and make others proud. We just have to follow the possibility, take the risk, and remember what counts is the experience and memories we sketch along the way.

a whit.

Day 71: I want to go back to Utah.

In Children, Family, God, Happiness, Humanity, Kids, life, Love, Mother, Parenting on September 20, 2012 at 6:45 am

That’s a phrase I never thought I’d hear myself say, but it’s true.

Oftentimes, when I tell people I lived in Utah for four years (a native Californian returned home) they tilt their head in disbelief. Then I go on to remind them (and myself) what a beautiful place Utah is. For me though, it holds so many precious memories, the biggest one being the fall–right around this very time of year. I was perusing some Utah friend’s blogs tonight, and I couldn’t help but notice all of the beautiful canyon shots, the vibrant leaves, and the visible wind gusts. This is exactly how I remember it that September 2005 when my precious boy was almost due.

I’ve spoken before about the wonderful feeling I get when Autumn arrives–it reminds me of the gift that is my little e and what a blessing God delivered to me almost seven years ago.

I can’t believe how fast the time passes, I can’t believe e is going to be seven in just a of couple days. He is my miracle, my entire life bundled up in one very witty, articulate little toe head. Today we were sitting outside Chipotle eating and he asked me, “what happens to those people that steal wishes out of fountains?” I didn’t know how to respond, so I just told him about plaza regulations and the money belonging to conglomerates that own the plaza facilities. He liked that answer. Then he responded with, “well, I did that once. I’m not going to do it again because that was someone’s wish, what if they needed it granted.” I love that he is so inquisitive and thoughtful. I’m so proud of him even when he cries for not wanting to do his spelling sentences or mad math minute.

This post was supposed to be about wanting to go back to Park City, my favorite winter space in the whole world (which I still long for), but it’s turned into something else I suppose. I wish I could go back, turn back time, live the past seven years over again, because he’s growing too fast.

I love you little e.

Three hugs. Three kisses. Happy birthday angel boy.

A whit-ing mom.

The Unseen {Featuring The Advice of Others}: Day 67

In Children, Faith, Family, Happiness, Humanity, Kids, life, Love, Mother, Teaching on August 19, 2012 at 1:07 am

{photo compliments of poshbabystore.com}

This beautiful post by Ashley Sullenger at Time Out For Women really struck a chord with me today.

Her post focuses on her recognized purpose in this life, a purpose designed specifically for her alone.  Of course, her journey isn’t one of isolation though, no, she talks about her daughter, Preslee, and the role little Preslee plays in helping her to see that purpose more clearly.

It’s hard, when you’ve experienced a loss, to see other people living on, doing the things you had planned but that your loss interjected, it’s hard to take 50 steps backward, only to know that you’ll have to make your way forward again.

She entitles her post, “The Princess Dress I Never Saw.”  I’m learning, as I grow and develop in my life and my own journey, that there are so many things we imagine happening or plan for–and they just don’t.  It’s like Ashley says,

Not long after my daughter died, I remember expressing to my mom how painful it was to watch everyone else reach different milestones with their children….It felt like salt being rubbed into a big open wound, being forced to watch other people’s children accomplish what I longed to do with my own daughter.

I felt this exact same way in my lifetime.  It’s been really hard to watch my friends move on with their spouses and build and grow their families.  It is like salt to a wound, and it does ache sometimes.

However, someone put it nicely to me the other day,

It is about sowing the seeds of the future and looking forward to the harvest you have planned for.

Sometimes in the midst of everything, it’s hard to remember to rejoice in the reached milestones and the joy of meeting them.

sometimes it’s easier to be mad.

though, it’s always better to be happy

there will always be princess dresses not seen.

Always.

But this doesn’t mean we won’t see other things.

a whit who is thankful for good advice.

Vintage Photos: DIY August

In Anthropologie, Children, Christmas Pictures, DIY, DIY August, Home Decor, Kids, life, Love, Photography on August 11, 2012 at 5:30 am

I  am not a photographer.

Back when I was married I paid this lady $500 to do a full 1 year-old photo shoot of little e. I value photos, and she did a wonderful job, so I have no regrets and I think every penny spent was worth it.  They are beautiful.

But then I got divorced and we resorted to the crappy Picture People alternative–not my favorite but my kid is just so cute and photogenic he even looked good in these. 😉

Though, I did long for those eclectic photos that I had paid so much money for (back when I had money).  So, I needed to figure out an alternative. Lucky for me, my sister had just purchased her boyfriend a 3k Canon.  Gracefully she agreed to let me borrow it (although I had no idea how to use–still don’t–I just pretend like I know what I’m doing).

Now with camera in tow, I needed to figure out a location for my shoot, hm. I knew I wanted it to be indoors…

I thought, I love the window ‘scenes’ and decorations at anthropologie so why not there?

I dressed e in some cute winter gigs and we headed to our local store.

I took lots of photos, with e and ini (my goal was to use these specifically for our 2010 Christmas Cards). A little photoshop and here we go, $500 saved.


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