Wow, what a break I have taken from writing! Today I want to write a little about: loss.
In life, you learn, especially as you get older, that in one way or another you will unfortunately have to experience letting go. Sometimes you will welcome the change, ridding your life of a boring job or an unkind friend, but there will be many times that loss will hurt deeply – and sometimes the grief of those losses will remain with you throughout your entire life. Recently I have learned about the later. This past year has certainly been one where my pain threshold has been tested to its limit and my experience with saying goodbye to loved ones has been profound, deep, and HARD. I have learned more about loss in this past year than I have in the rest of my 29 years combined. So, what has it taught me?
Mostly, I have learned that all of the things that I used to place such value on, such emphasis, well, really don’t matter as much as I thought they did. I’ve learned that while nailing an important presentation at work is nice, it’s not nicer than sitting outside and enjoying beautiful weather or taking a walk through a beautiful park or reading a good book with your child. The good thing that has come from so much loss has been my ability to weight things like the above – appropriately. If I am worried or scared about something, I simply remember what I’ve lost and it immediately grounds me. For example, as I am going through the experience of losing my grandma I am constantly reminded that nothing is that big of a deal – my grandma’s presence may not be part of my life in the very short distance and what could be more stressful or hard than that fact. I lost my husband almost one year ago, what could possibly worry me or hurt me more than that? I know it seems like an odd way to look at things, but it helps me appreciate what I have…and it helps me glean one small ‘good’ out of experiences that have hurt me so deeply.
Today in yoga class, the instructor explained that we end yoga in a state where we simply be, then as we come out of that state we move to the fetal pose as a symbol of our constant rebirth. Life will be plagued with loss, we will constantly change but there is power in the truth that we are also constantly reborn – even loss itself forces us into a state of rebirth as we realign and prepare for our new life minus what has been taken from us.
Please remember to be present in everything you do. Namaste.