Archive for June, 2014|Monthly archive page

Day 112: Blood {a recap}

In Uncategorized on June 11, 2014 at 8:32 pm

Last night I sat down at my computer to do my weekly read of my favorite blogs. I read this post, entitled Blood, and the beauty of it inspired me so much that I was led to share bits of it here too {although I encourage you to head over and read the post through and through yourself.}

Blog author Ashley, describes an experience, after her husband’s murder, one that would involve the literal blood of her dead husband, her children, a lifelong lesson, and a message that strength and endurance can come from those bad things we chance upon in life.

It had been some time after Ashley’s husband’s murder, and the authorities were finally ready to release Ashely’s husband’s truck. It arrived at her house, and quickly became a feared object. This truck was parked near her husband when he was killed, it was the last place he had “been,” and it held clues, possibly, to the last things he did during his lifetime.

Ashley stood in the driveway, keys in her hand, but only opened the truck, and entered it, upon the pleading of her little boy. She describes what follows as a beautiful and touching experience–one-by-one each of Ashley’s children made their way to the vehicle. They explored every last bit of it, looked through their Dad’s gym bag, put his ear phones in their ears, pushed every button, anything, everything, they could do to bring a little piece of their Dad back. Or, at the very least, make him feel closer.

During all of this Ashley’s new husband arrived home, and quickly he motioned to her what was awaiting on the other side of the truck…her husband’s blood–it had not been washed off by the authorities. Crying, Ashley ran into the house to escape to her ‘safe’ place. In the quiet of her closet, she transitioned from her common pleading “can I have a do-over?” to “when is this going to be over?”

What Ashley found when she emerged from her closet and made her way to the window, was not crying children as she had expected. Instead, she found giggling kids, soapy, with her new husband, washing the truck clean of the blood that once belonged to their Father. Each child was proud to be making their Daddy’s possession beautiful and clean just like he would have wanted it while he was alive.

The lesson Ashley learned that day was a big one.

Sometimes I find myself asking for my do-over, begging for it as Ashley had, and when things just get so bad that I feel I can’t go on, I ask, “when is this trial going to be over?” In asking those questions though, we fail to see the beauty that can become from the hurt. We fail to see the joy in ‘washing away the blood of the past’ for something that will, eventually, be clean and new. We are denied the opportunity to meet and experience the people who can help us wash away the blood. Ashley reminds us at the close of her post, ‘not many are willing to take on such heartbreaking burdens in life, but God knows who you are, and in doing so, that’s what makes you so special.’

Day 111: Pray a Little prayer for Me

In Uncategorized on June 5, 2014 at 3:09 am

It isn’t often that I make requests on my blog, but today I have one. If you have been a long time reader, then you know about my divorce posts. Over the years, my divorce has equated to a series of battles. Some battles I have won, and some I have lost.

I know many fellow bloggers who have lost children to tragic accidents, while I never want to lessen their pain, or imply my situation is the same as losing a child, because it’s not, it sometimes feels like my little boy is going to be ripped away from me. Going to sleep every night, that pit resides in your stomach and when you wake up there it is again. It’s a terrible feeling, especially when all you pray for is peace.

A close friend sent me a beautiful prayer today, parts of which I’d like to share with you. I promptly printed this prayer and placed one in my purse and one next to my desk–I pull it out when that sinking feeling begins.

Oh God, We are so thankful that you are always here. That you love us unconditionally no matter what we do or where we go. We thank you for the gorgeous sun today and for friendships. For those people that you put into our lives that uplift us and create strong foundations that help strengthen your own. God, you bestow perfect peace to those who are turned to you. Resting in you creates a quietness and keeps the adversary at bay. Create a trust in the Lord, that we know that whatever is going on in our path that we aren’t overwhelmed by the hardships that we face. That we can take a step back before we speak or react and that we have compassion for the situation. If something goes wrong, it wasn’t meant to be, and you bring perfection down the road. God, we thank you for the light that you have brought to our lives. Please give us the vision to be able to see the good in every situation Lord and to not feel like walls are pushing in. Give strength to ride the waves of change, and empower us to be nurturing and loving to those around us.

Let sadness, disappointment and anger be minimal. Let happiness, love, and the good in the situations that we may face be more than enough. Let us have an abundance of grace and hope to deal with what comes our way.

When darkness threatens to overcome, surround us with your presence. We know you deep in our  heart Lord. We want to and are able to run to you with an open heart. We have a perfect trust in your protective power, and soak up your strength like a sponge. Lord, make it your will that the overwhelming sensations of emotions be kept at bay. When satan sends his demons to attack us as we walk your path, give us armor that we will not struggle. We will be able to stand tall and say NO. You will not let this situation get out of control. We are so kind and loving and always want the best out of any situation, but we need to feel at rest. Lord give us understanding that if we feel like we’re failing, we’re not.

Let us submit in ways that you know will be beneficial to us. Have us not be of harm in our words, or callous in our listening and reactions. Help us to remember that love for our child is number one and to always circle back around to that. That we may support one another in all things. Where each may lack, show us the way.



If you get a chance, please pray this little prayer for me.

a whit.

Day 110: My Little Maltese

In Uncategorized on June 4, 2014 at 7:24 am

Today I got to thinking about my dog, little Ini. Over the years, this little dog has really saved me. He has comforted me through some of my toughest times. 

when I was sad after a break-up

when I was scared

when I was anxious about a test

when I was worried about my child

My friend and I were talking the other day about her cat. She described how her cat always knows when she’s sad. How he comes up and places his head near hers, as if to say, “don’t be sad, I’m right here.” Ini has done this same thing for me, time and time again. Even as he sits with his slimy ‘chewy’ in my laundry pile, while occasionally barking at the passing insect, I still love him so so much. He is a comfort that can never be replaced or exchanged.

It’s amazing what animals can do for us all while asking for nothing in return.

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