witifulramblings

Day 102: Tap, Tap, Tap {a film: Bridegroom}

In Couples, Gay Marriage, life, Love, Marriage on November 2, 2013 at 6:47 am

It’s not often that something inspires me so much so that I have to immediately find my computer and start to write.

After clicking through the multiple netflix documentary options, I finally settled on Bridegroom–a film about a gay man whose partner dies.

What unfolds throughout the film is a beautiful story of true love. Tom is in early twenties when he accidentally falls off of the roof of his friend’s apartment building while taking pictures. What follows is not the story of Tom’s death, but the story of his life, with Shane, his partner. There is a moment in the film where Shane talks about how scared he was to tell Tom publicly that he loved him, for fear of what others might have thought, so instead, if the couple were out, they would tap the table three times tap {I} tap {love} tap {you}. One of the unique features of the film is its recap of the actual messages Tom and Shane shared during their six-year relationship. They would banter about traveling the world together, which they did, and having a kid, and teaching it how to ride a bike, and eating family meals with the dog underneath the table patiently awaiting scraps. Real stuff.

After Tom’s death, the hospital nurses give Shane a beautiful gift–a gift of time. They allow Shane moments with Tom before his family arrives–even though he is not “family” according to hospital policy. Not knowing this would be his last time near Tom’s body, Shane only finds one thing appropriate for the moment–he reaches out and taps Tom’s leg three times.

It’s hard for me to imagine, having been in love, having had my own three-hand squeeze, to understand how anyone could see love differently just because someone is gay. As the film depicts, Tom loved everyone, even his parents, the ones who ultimately deny his true identity, he still loved them.

In this life there is nothing more precious than the opportunity to love someone–to serve them. Shane and Tom, and their story, are a testament to this. Tom’s true legacy is what he gave those in his life, including Shane, “an unconditional love.”

This film will move you beyond words, you must watch it.

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  1. It was truly a memorable film. I happened to view it this week via Netflix and found it profoundly moving and in many ways, a testament to the nature of the power of love. Not just any love but true to the very core of one’s being type of love. The emotional tug lingers in my heart even after these last few days and somehow I hope one day to find a hint of what Tom and Shane once had together.

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