Sometimes we fail to recognize the things we love more than anything until they are no longer present.
When I first got married, I loved under the impression that marriage was supposed to be perfect. I thought couples never fought and guys always brought home flowers when they did something wrong. Boy was I wrong.
I recently read a couple good books that clarified this very concerning mishap in understanding the workings of a healthy relationship. If you haven’t read The Seven Principles to Making a Marriage Work then you should. As I learned, it doesn’t matter if you’re married, divorced, in a complicated state (as we like to call it thanks to facebook), or hopelessly single. This book is fabulous at helping individuals understand their role within a union and the inevitable role they must play on their own.
The other great self reference book I’d recommend is The 30-Day Love Detox. If you’re a feminist you’ll find this book especially charming as I did. However, it also appeals to the more traditional woman; infact, it provides tools to help you determine who you are. (Unfortunately for me, I am a traditionalist trapped in a career woman’s body which is causing my uterus problems as of late). This book emphasizes the importance of a “plan” and while I don’t advocate life or love plans as the be-all end-all, I do think they provide some sense of direction when you’re trying to find your identity and re-steer your course. I really loved this book because it was written by a single mom, and although her own personal professional to dating is shocking in the end, it gives a glimpse at the different aspects of single mothering and such (but that’s for another post).
While I hate losing things, and I hate even more perusing the “self help” section, which Barnes and Nobles has so eloquently re-named the “Relationship” section, I found these two books insightful and realistic. Love isn’t a game, or a test, as lots of other books hinge, it’s just being you and weathering the bumps together.
As I was perusing Pinterest I notice an old love letter written by a guy named John, it was a famous John but which one I cannot now recall, he writes:
We got old and got used to each other. We think alike. We read each others’ minds. We know what the other one wants without asking. Sometimes we irritate each other a little bit. Maybe sometimes take each other for granted.
But once in awhile, like today, I meditate on it and I realize how lucky I am to share my life with the greatest woman I ever met. You still fascinate and inspire me. You influence me for the better. You’re the onject of my desire the #1 earthly reason for my existence. I love you very much.
The crowning characteristic of love is loyalty.