Archive for July, 2012|Monthly archive page

Day 59: on being wholehearted

In Blogging, Esteem, Faith, Happiness, Humanity, Laughter, Love, Men, TED Talks, Women on July 30, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Today I am on a flight, again.

I had the privilege of visiting NY, Connecticut, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania, all in less than 5 days–whirlwind trip. Very fun, though.

What I am thinking about mostly right now, though, is a TED talk that I listened to on my flight into JFK. I was having a long day, sleep deprived, and I just happened to snap on one of the 5 free Delta radio channels (for the record Delta is a joke). There came words I needed to hear and I find it no coincidence that I started to listen to that very station when I did. For those of you that know TED talks, the briefers are limited to a less than ten minute time period to present their research in the most imaginable and insightful way, so the fact that I caught this particular one is quite lucky.

This talk wasn’t focused on the customary scientific findings surrounding most, no, it was centered more on an emotional type of research that could be classified in the psychological jurisdiction; however, I still felt it to fit its own category of sorts having listened to several TEDs and never encountered one quite like this previously.

The speaker, Brenda Brown, was presenting her research on the topic of wholeheartedness. That is, what constitutes a whole hearted individual. She goes on to explain that she had spent several years interviewing several individuals categorized as wholehearted and then those who live, well, unwholehearted. The first problem, if you could call it that, that she encountered in her research was the notion that those who portray a wholehearted esteem recognize that to be wholehearted one must first accept that this requires making everything that you desire to be certain, uncertain. This was problematic for Brenda because, well, she’s a researcher and to be a researcher is to seek the definitive. She segues to note this first encounter required her to take a 2 year research break and attend weekly counseling, lol. However, once she overcame this realization she was able to even further delve into the information that would enlighten her as to what the belief system requires amongst the wholehearted. She goes on to note:

The way to live is not to control and predict, rather, it’s through vulnerability, the wholehearted live with vulnerability because this is the birthplace of love and happiness. The wholehearted let themselves be seen and they love life with their whole hearts even though there is no guarantee. The wholehearted recognize that you cannot selectively numb emotions. You see, when you numb anger, fear, disappointment, you cannot do this without also numbing love, happiness, and laughter. The wholehearted stop catastrophizing and believe in good, they are grateful because of this. They ask themselves, what makes me vulnerable and then they face it head on. They realize that it is this vulnerability that allows them to be them and to live.

Most importantly though, above all else, Brown’s research found that the wholehearted always believe this:

They believe they are enough.

Brown posed the question on her blog, what makes you feel vulnerable? She felt getting to the heart of this might help individuals to reveal their wholehearted nature. She received thousands of responses.

Waiting for doctor results
Initiating sex with my partner
Saying I love you
Getting a mammogram
Going to the doctor
Looking for a job
Going on an airplane

So I pose this question here, what makes you feel vulnerable? How do you find your way through that vulnerability, or do you?

a thinking whit


HOLSTEE JULY: emotions

In Happiness, Holstee Manifesto, Thoughts on July 20, 2012 at 5:06 am


Sometimes life is hard and that hardship brings sadness, disappointment, confusion, uncertainty, hurt, loneliness. It’s important, though, to remember that all of these emotions, too, are beautiful.

I’m very happy, but I still feel these other emotions time and again. They only reinforce though that I am still strong and I can endure despite them.

I put this over my bed in my room because I think it is so important to remember, and someday when I’m 90, I know it will be the little things that I’ll want to reflect on and they will bring me the most joy in their memory.


Day 58: thankful.

In Family, Friends, God, Happiness, Health, Humanity, Laughter, life, Love, Mother, Parenting, Thoughts on July 20, 2012 at 4:46 am

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the following:

patience. and

loving what you have/what you are given.

It’s so easy for me, or you, or anyone, really, to get caught up in wanting things beyond what one has or is given. I have, and sometimes I throw myself a pity party about it, but the reality is that there is always someone who has it worse or is embedded within circumstances that are less fixable.

One of my best friend’s husband is dying of cancer. He only has a year to live, at best.

I think about her situation quite often, and it makes everything in my life seem so manageable despite the hardship that I face within my own circumstances. I am thankful this week that I have those that I care about close to me and healthy. I am thankful that there was and will be the laughter of little kids in my house–I’ve been missing that.

I’m so thankful–for the little things.


Day 57: it is possible.

In DIY, Faith, Home Decor, Humanity, Mother, Women, Work on July 17, 2012 at 5:55 am

To redo your room with barely any money.

This was before.


And now…


Please excuse the crap sitting on the bed. It’s actually not done–later on I’m going to tuft a backing for that headboard (it will cover it and be rounded at the top where the edge is). I really wish I had a wide angle lens, so I could see the whole room (cut off the nightstand and armoire and complete other wall) but I’m proud of myself for seeing this project through. It kept me busy, and I had fun learning what not to do when painting furniture!

Plus, these pillows–


The best idea ever because I do not sew. Just tie the thing into a square knot and pin it.

Daily Cupcake: Holstee July LOVE.

In Holstee Manifesto, Laughter, life, Love, Men, Romance, Thoughts, Women, Writing on July 15, 2012 at 8:13 am

If you’re looking for the love of your life, STOP. You will find them when you start doing things you LOVE.


Day 56: the move and helping out a fellow CL-er

In DIY, Family, Happiness, Home Decor, Mother, Thoughts, Women, Work on July 15, 2012 at 7:43 am

I forgot to mention this, but we did just move (or I should say I just packed 50 boxes, unpacked 50 boxes, and tore the house apart only to put it back together). Here are some process pictures, enjoy.

This = two leg cuts, five bruises, a tired body, and a pulled groin muscle.







I won’t bore you with the kitchen and bathroom, yet.

None of my room, that later.

Speaking of rooms, though. I just saw this on CL and got a HUGE laugh. Wow, they want how much for all that? The posting is even funnier, no, my friends, this is not the decor from a small girl’s room, read carefully…



Day 55: A 6 year-old DIY in the making

In Blogging, DIY, Home Decor, Mother, Musings, Parenting, Women on July 15, 2012 at 7:15 am

I talked to little e today. He’s at his Dad’s house in LA because that’s where he spends his summers, mostly. He lives with me during the school year.

Anyway, my very adult ish 6 year-old inquires as to what I’ve “been up to lately.” His very first inquiry, “How did the move go mom? Do you have everything put together in the house?” More on that later. (I did have it all put together until I took it apart again. I’m currently sleeping on a mattress on the floor).

I replied that I’ve been very busy running (yes I’m still doing that despite all the DIY), reading, visiting with friends, and…painting the furniture.

His first response. “I can’t wait to come back! I can help you paint, like my bunk bed, let’s paint it green–that’s my new favorite color, but just the inside of it. I can do that top part mom and you do the bottom. OK?”

I somehow talked him into the idea of green sheets instead, which seem like a much better idea given his ever evolving favorite color preferences. I did tell him we’d decorate it together when he gets back. This is my ‘sort of,’ and I say that VERY loosely, inspiration. We’ll definitely ditch the ship theme.





Day 54: Fumbling With Power Tools.

In DIY, Humor, Men, wit, Women, Work on July 15, 2012 at 6:13 am

This is my street.

This is my neighbor on my street…this morning.


A little later on today…




Man versus woman. Man fumbles, woman gets it done. Nuff said.

Day 53: The Ugly Truth (About This Mirror): What MeiJo Didn’t Tell You

In DIY, Home Decor, wit on July 13, 2012 at 10:41 am

I found this mirror tutorial here.  I purposefully didn’t post anything about this project because I wasn’t sure if it would ever actually transpire, and for fear of looking like an idiot, I thought I’d just keep it hush. Finally, in the off chance I did get around to it, which I was sure I would not, it’d be my luck the thing would look like a lopsided ‘cheap’ idea.

Well. This really is a great idea.  I don’t know why but for some reason it just didn’t occur to me that this might be a tedious idea, you think?  MeiJo fails to mention that after gluing hundreds, if not thousands (we did make it into the thousands), of tiny little sequins you will certainly have ten burnt fingertips, a backache, and I managed to somehow pull a joint near my groin (I liked to glue the sequins in a squating position on the floor–not so smart). Each row takes anywhere from 1-2 hours and they only get bigger and more complicated as you move outward (the beauty of the starburst design).

So now that you know the truth, here are some things I found helpful (if you decide to brave this DIY).

A pineapple corer works great for getting the cardboard to form into an actual circle.


Don’t worry if your ‘circles” have bumps (most of mine did) minus this one:


Be sure to pick the dried hot glue off as you go.

Press the sequins on from the sides so the glue doesn’t go through the center hole.

Don’t worry about the circles matching up—no one will be able to tell.

I put my sequins on as I went to act as “placeholders” then I would pick them off and move them if needed.

Basically, by the 800th sequin (literally) I was beginning to not like this piece as much.  You couldn’t pay me any amount of money to make another one of these.






signed a whit-ing addict that hopes she never sees a silver sequin again. That said mirror= 8$. My life gluing sequins for five days: priceless.

Day 52: the nightstand continued

In Blogging, DIY, Fun, Home Decor, Women on July 13, 2012 at 10:19 am

So, the saga of the nightstand continues. I did decide to change out the hardware, and I am really happy because the whole thing cost me under 20 bucks (with the thrift store lamp that is soon to be off white/cream).

In other news, I did decide to paint the bed. I ripped off a gaudy piece of metal for the backing this morning, but I am not sure when I will actually get to this project. I am waiting for a man to help me move the heavy sucker into the garage.

@coffeeundertheumbrella you are right, “painting furniture is addicting (like crack)” hoping that was just a non-literal reference. I like my teeth, and my brain cells, and I am sure you do too. 😉





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