Archive for June, 2012|Monthly archive page


In Beauty, Books, Fiction, Holstee Manifesto, Humanity, life, literature, Men, Thoughts, Women, Writing on June 30, 2012 at 4:13 am

This book kind of pisses me off, kind of.  Anyway, you should read it, if not for anything else then at least for the controversy surrounding it.  I guess the guy James, who coincidentally reminded me of an alcoholic I once dated also named James, made up parts of the entire non-fiction memoir.  He got baited by Oprah (poor guy–not really).  And the funniest part of it all, after a heated law suit it was determined by the publisher that readers could get a full refund of the book by presenting their original receipt, and a ripped out page 165 (in some basement somewhere there’s a HUGE ripped out pile of Frey’s page 165s–or maybe he wanted them back personally), with a signed affidavit that they we’re essentially ‘scarred’ by the intentional misleading facts within the book.  If you did that, you are crazier than the author.

Like any good author though, Frey said that he did feel the facts within the book were ‘true’ for him because that’s how he felt or acted in his own mind, essentially he related his perceived persona versus factual experiences–coo koo AND brilliant (I bet his publisher thought up that one after consulting a literary theorist at Yale).

All of that said, there are parts of this novel that really resonated with me, I even shed a tear or two by the end (which I never would have imagined). Like this one,

If you understand that all things change constantly, there is nothing that you will hold on to, all things change….Trying to control the future is like trying to take the place of the Master Carpenter.  When you handle the Master Carpenter’s tools, chances are that you’ll cut your hand….Knowing other people is intelligence, knowing yourself is wisdom.  Mastering other people is strength, mastering yourself is power.  If you realize that what you have is enough, you are rich truly rich.  Stay in the center and embrace peace, simplicity, patience and compassion.

If you want to shrink something, you must first expand it.  If you want to get rid of something, you must first allow it to flourish.  If you want to take something, you must allow it to be given.  The soft will overcome the hard.  The slow will beat the fast.  Don’t tell people the way, just show them the results.

As James learns to embrace these principals, he begins to heal.  He’s an addict, I am not.  I’ve known addicts, though. One thing you learn from the novel, the most important thing I would argue, is that we all have a piece of addict within us.  Every. Single. One. Of. Us.


James meets a girl in rehab, Lilly, he loves her very much.  When she is scared or alone, he tells her, “Remember the word Ever.” Ever means always, he means to tell her that he will always love her but I think it means more than that too.  It references this earlier continuum of life, throughout life we must EVER open our souls to the people and things that are around us.  It is in this that the Million Little Pieces come together to make something whole–love.  Love is being whole.

Day 48: Tuna Fish Grows In A Garden

In Diet, Family, Humanity, Humor, Mother, Stories on June 30, 2012 at 3:28 am

THIS post, which is VERY funny, reminded me of a very familiar childhood story which I’d like to share at this interval.

One night, when I was about ten years old, my mother had made some very delicious hamburgers for dinner.  We all gathered around our much too large oak dining room table, much too large is actually an understatement, the thing had three leafs, I think, and was meant to sit like 15 people (we had 4 if we were lucky).  Anyway, so I sit down at this ginormous table, my sister about 6 feet away from me is plunked down too, and we begin to eat.  Now I am not one to keep my mouth shut, I am always noticing things/places/people and I do have a tendency to perpetuate debate.  I think as a child I would even instigate it at times to see what type of reaction I could get out of the adults around me–sometimes I think I was actually smarter than them and I used this knowledge to have a little fun.  So, I’m looking outside at the large pasture next door.  We of course did not live on a farm, but our neighbors did and had beef cattle they would randomly rotate between the front and back pasture.  On this given day, those beef cattle happened to be in the front pasture.  Looking at my burger, and then my little sister, I blurted out, “Guess what’s for dinner?” Then with a turn of my head, “That’s what’s for dinner, right there.”  It was one of those cynical moments, like the kid from the Christmas Story who nags on his Dad about his sexy leg lamp.  That was it, my sister set down her burger and she vowed herself a vegetarian henceforth–at the ripe ol’ age of 5.

But the story doesn’t end here, my Mother thought she was going through a dietary phase and it seriously concerned her that her McDonald’s Chicken McNugget child (this was probably the only thing she ate for the first 4 years of her life) was refusing anything animal/meat related.  So she did what every Mother probably would have done (except for me of course)–she lied.  She picked the one meat my sister hadn’t eaten in her short little life, tuna fish, and she concocted a story that it grew in a garden.

My sister was smart, just like me.  She marched to school the very next day, and she asked her kindergarten teacher if this was a truth or lie (apparently young children can easily identify meat products).  When she found out that indeed, tuna fish swims in the sea and does not grow roots in a garden amidst the tomato plants she was very angered.  She would not eat a single bite of anything my Mom cooked her for a solid 3-month, if not longer, period.  I can honestly remember sitting at that HUGE dining table (I still can’t figure out why my mom bought that thing) watching my sister “pick” through her food for any meat particles mixed in with other things.

Eventually my mother gave up, bought protein powder, and taught my sister how to eat tofu and applesauce.  To this day though, some fifteen years later my sis still hasn’t touched meat (with the exception of a few experiences involving “accidents” and vomit sessions).  And to this day, I am still blamed for it too.

My final word, at least I was honest.

Day 47: Running Through Life

In Exercise, Friends, Friendship, Happiness, life, Running, Thoughts on June 30, 2012 at 1:32 am

It’s summer again, and I finally have time to reevaluate my life and my goals (my New Year’s Resolutions are always made around this of the year).  Anyway, my primary goal has been to get in the best shape of my life.  Today I almost cried at the highlights of my workout: 20 girl push-ups, 70 lunges, and 2- 1 minute wall squats.  I couldn’t even do 2 girl push-ups two months ago (pathetic I know)!

Anyway, that said, I have been running about 4 miles a day with a time range of anywhere from 8-9:00 minutes per mile, not spectacular, but freaking fantastic for me.  Today I decided to go running with a friend who just began her running regimen 3 days ago.  As we circled the park, I could tell I was pacing her way too fast and she was burning out by mile 1, so we decided on two miles with a few 1:00 minute walk intervals. We ended up averaging a 12:24 mile, but I couldn’t help but feel so proud of her and her accomplishment.  I can remember just a couple months back when I was in that very boat, and I told her this, where I couldn’t even make it to the mile mark without tuckering out.  It’s amazing, though, how fast your body (and your lungs) acclimate, and I assured her that in two weeks time she’ll likely make that whole two miles without any walk rest periods.  She commented on how thankful she was that I was willing to ask her how she was doing along the way, stop for her, and encourage her onward toward our running endpoint.  Afterward we walked another 4 miles to a coffee shop wherein we talked and enjoyed ourselves for the first time in a long time.  When we finally made it back to the cars it seemed so clear to me, life is just like running.  It’s not always about being the fastest, sometimes you need to take breaks, oftentimes it’s about enjoying who you’re running with, and most importantly it’s about encouraging one another onward.  Throughout she kept urging me to leave her behind and just run ahead, “Nope, I am here to pace you.  I am here to do this with you,” I told her.  If I would have run ahead, I would have missed out on so much during our run today.  I’m glad I didn’t.



HOLSTEE June: Butts, Thighs, and Abs

In Uncategorized on June 26, 2012 at 7:51 am

Awm, it’s letting me post again!  Geez, this thing went wack for a few days.

Anyway, this is just a quick daily cupcake. Part of HOLSTEE May now gone HOLSTEE June (and soon to go HOLSTEE July). So, I am adding a proclamation.  IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR BODY, CHANGE IT!

Check out bodyrock.tv

Happy Swimsuit Bods!


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