Archive for May, 2012|Monthly archive page

HOLSTEE MAY: Fat Skinny Me

In Diet, Exercise, Health, Holstee Manifesto, Running on May 29, 2012 at 8:47 pm

I have done a horrible job with HOLSTEE May so…looks like we might be having a HOLSTEE June too.

Today’s daily:


As I’ve begun to approach the big 30 mark I’ve noticed quite the change, especially in my thighs.  Yikes.  Then my sis told me about something called fat skinny (or skinny fat).  I thought, that’s me!  I guess you’re wondering how a hundred pound girl can rock the jellylite, well, turns out it is possible.  So, I am trying to reverse this ASAP. I was wondering why all the clothes I’ve tried on in the last few months have looked awful…I kept chalking it up to bad spring fashions. Nope, it’s actually just my butt.

So, I’m on a new “diet” and running/workout regimen.  I’m hoping I can make a 360 in a years time.  Say a little prayer for me!

Anyway, I am appreciating my Odwalla bars, and steamed broccoli, and chicken.  very much.


Day 46: Atticus Hansen Earns His Wings

In Esteem, Fiction, God, Happiness, Holstee Manifesto, Humanity, literature, Men, Teaching on May 28, 2012 at 2:01 am

I’ve always been a very intuitive person, especially when it comes to things that are near and dear to my heart.

I’d decided about a week ago that I am going to run Eppie’s Great Race in honor of sweet little Atticus Hansen whom I have mentioned on my blog a few times.  Here and here.

Well, today I set out on my daily run.  It was 6, plenty late enough for the massive heat wave to have died down, I was running within my range of miles, and I was making about average pace (for me).  But I kept looking down at my Atticus bracelet, I kept telling him to be strong, and I kept telling myself to run harder and faster than I had previously–for him.

I couldn’t do it, I got to about mile 2.5 and my body just was aching in pain (it normally isn’t like this).  I began to walk, and I thought about Atticus the entire 1 mile of it.

I got home thinking my lag was from a lack of calories, so I immediately loaded up on some tuna and broccoli and then I went straight to the computer.  I thought, he’s gone–and he was.  His sweet little soul returned to Heavenly Father today and as I stared at the picture of him that was posted, in his little baseball digs, I thought of little e and my immense love for him.  I can’t imagine the grief the Hansen family must be feeling this day, but I am thankful for the knowledge that Atti will now be serving a higher purpose and watching down on all of us in love.

I am also thankful to know that he will always be a strength to me.  It’s amazing how one little boy and a blog could touch my life so deeply.  Thank you Atticus.  Little e put it nicely this morning as we we’re leaving for the pool.  I asked him if he had his Atticus bracelet on, with wide eyes he looked up and said very matter-of-factly, “Yep, got Atticus right here!  He’s going to the pool with us today!”  Who knows, maybe he did.

If you’d like to help support childhood brain tumor research please follow this LINK.

Dear Sophie,Wha…

In Uncategorized on May 14, 2012 at 6:40 am

Dear Sophie,

What a cool idea…it gives me a great idea too.  Stay tuned.




Daily Cupcake: Holstee May

In Happiness, Holstee Manifesto, life, Love, Men, Mother, Parenting, Romance, Women on May 14, 2012 at 6:12 am


Today’s proclamation seems very fitting for the occasion, Mother’s Day.  The greatest thing we have the opportunity to create in this life is our children.  As I was reading this post…

Had to drop a quick line and wish everyone, including my Mom (Love you Mom), a happy Mother’s Day (Yes, its Eric again).

You’d think that this Mother’s Day would be the worst yet for Cindy but it hasn’t (and yes, I know I can’t speak for Cindy, but I am going to anyway).  Cindy and I were blessed to spend some special time with Atticus this evening.  These past few days have been very reminiscent of when Atticus was first diagnosed.  We were again told that Atticus was going to die-albeit this time around we have less time.  We again had to fight the emotions and fear that come with that news.  But like before, through all of the fear and sadness, we have been able to have some very special moments with Atticus that we will always remember.  Tonight was one of those nights.

My dad and Cindy’s parents flew home this afternoon, and it was just Cindy, Atticus and I at the hospital.  Atti had been sleeping most of the day, but perked up from about 6:00 to 9:00.  He is such a trooper.  He knows that his body isn’t working right, and he is in pain.  But yet, he still finds a way to make us laugh and still melts our hearts by his sweet little sayings.  Nothing hugely notable happened, but tonight was one of those special moments as a family that we are now, post-diagnosis, acutely aware of.  Its something that I took completely for granted before.  I now recognize how special and amazing the gift of going through life with a family is.

The heart of our family is my wife.  She is a remarkable mother.  She is everything for Atticus and Isaac that I am not and can’t be.  I am amazed by her courage during these last five months.  I am amazed at the way she loves our sweet children.  And most of all, I am amazed by her devotion as a Mother.  Even on Mother’s Day she doesn’t get a “day off.”  She, like all mothers, is always on the clock.  Day or night, vacation or home, she is always “Mommy.”  She’s the first person the kids look to when they are hurt or in pain, or need comfort.  She is the first person they want to see when they get up, and the last they want to kiss at night.

I love you Cindy.  I can’t imagine life without you, and I love you more each day. Thank you for being such a great mother.

I thought about what it means to meet someone you truly love and what emerges when true love exists. It’s sheer beauty, having admiration for someone for the blessing they give your life. In the midst of that admiration, losing yourself, in complete humility.

That’s the type of husband, father I have always wanted.  Reading that just makes me realize how willing I am to wait, however long it takes, til’ I find him.  He’s out there, a guy like that is worth creating something with.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Day 45: Moms

In Happiness, Laughter, Mother, Parenting, Women on May 14, 2012 at 5:07 am

I am so grateful on this Mother’s Day.

I was thinking about all of my blessings today, especially those revolving around my little e, having him in my life, that’s the ultimate happiness for me.  I am reminded time and time again what a gift a mother’s love is–a gift God gave me almost seven years ago.

I wish I could remember every little thing e has said to me over those years, it’s terrible forgetting.  There are certain moments in motherhood that I wish I could freeze forever and replay them over and over in real time.  Like the other night when little e and I had a conversation about his future career moves,

“Mooom, I just don’t think I am going to make it very far in life.  I mean, I don’t even know what I am going to do for a job yet!  Mom these are the types of things you need to start thinking about at my age (he’s a ripe ol’ 6).”

I was laughing, there at the table, and I couldn’t make myself stop.  I thought, “this is it, this is the best thing in life–ever–hands down.”  I remember being pregnant with e and being so scared–terrified really.  I was thinking, this thing, it’s in my body, and it has to come out–there’s only one exit door too!  Man oh man.  Talk about being on edge for 9 months, well, actually 10 when you add it all up.  But I was different, I was REALLY on edge and quite possibly, if I hadn’t been so sick, might have signed up to delegate him my uterus’ permanent resident.  I had no idea, not a clue what was to come.  I was a really weird pregnant woman (most are in their own special way), and I wasn’t really into the whole ‘I’m going to be a mom’ thing.  I didn’t feel connected to the baby inside me, and I didn’t know how that connection would ever prove possible.  Until…

he was born.

In light speed things change, an instant really.  I’d say its a tacked on blessing…God goes, wham bam, these two are going to make the best team.

and we do.

It’s not always perfect, but it’s always beautiful.  It’s worth every tear, every tantrum, every kiss, every hug, every goodnight, every good morning, every blowout, every midnight bottle, every lost blankie, every embarrassing moment, every millionth question, every why, every how, every what is that, every I don’t want to take that medicine, every story read, every broken vase, every homemade card, every soccer practice, every bit of throw up, every ‘just one more’ and ‘please don’t go,’ every mom ‘I’m scared,’ every timeout, every ‘do I have to,’ every ‘Mom, I love you as much as…”

a thankful mom.

Daily Cupcake: HOLSTEE MAY

In Happiness, Holstee Manifesto, Humanity, life, Love, Men, Stories, Teaching, Thoughts, Travel, Women, Work, Writing on May 8, 2012 at 5:21 am

The My Life by Holstee SITE is launched and here is the web URL, check it out.

Lots of inspiring stories and perspectives AND I’m on there somewhere. 😉

Daily Cupcake: Holstee May

In Holstee Manifesto, life on May 7, 2012 at 1:13 am

HOLSTEE MAY, Today’s proclamation is,


As a person who has been thinking  a lot about the notion of jobs (I have one semester of grad school left), I’ve kind of been on the opposite end of this.  So, lets see, how do I enter into a job I don’t actually hate and will be able to love for the rest of my life.

Recently my Dad actually did this, he’s close to 60, if not 60, and he left his career as a 20-year business owner to return to nursing school.  I know it has been a lot of work for him, but I also know that he is so much happier.  Sometimes it is the leap that is the hardest thing to do, I know that leap was extremely hard for him.  He is a testament, though, that it doesn’t matter your age/gender/educational background/race/economic status but that where there is a will, there is a way–and I adamantly believe this.  Don’t make excuses for a life that you want but believe you can’t have.  Know you can have it, and live it.

And ending this post on this note…which I do believe too…

So that’s my advice for today…get an education that will allow you a job you won’t ever want to quit, or according to the manifesto have to quit, and go shopping (because hopefully that education provides a job that pays enough money to get yourself some nice kicks)!

Day44: doesmymindeverstoprunning

In Education, English Major on May 7, 2012 at 12:58 am

Sorry there has been such a lag in posting, this is what happens when you juggle grad school writing (aka writing you are forced to do) and blog writing or the writing you actually want to do.  I realize some, if not most, people hate writing altogether so this may be kind of hard to comprehend.  But myself, and other English majors included, we like to do this thing called “nerd talk” wherein we over analyze pretty much everything and then, dum dum dum, WRITE ABOUT IT!  I remember the first time it happened to me, I was sitting at a stoplight, I think, and I noticed a silver car in front of me.  I began to ask myself questions like, “why silver?” “does Dodge make a different color silver than other brands?”  “That one sure looks like it has a lot of sparkle to it, I wonder what they put in the paint to make it sparkle like that?”  “Is that sparkly paint they put on the vehicle highly toxic?  If so, I wonder how many car painter people get paint poisoning each year?”  “And wait, how do they treat paint poisoning? How long does it take to get better from something like that?”  “I wonder how much they pay car painter people because if there is a risk like that then they should definitely pay them more than house painter people…”

You see how I took myself on a little journey in about five minutes, I ventured through areas of politics, market, medicine, branding, economic placement, and even paint toxicity…all from a silver vehicle parked in front of me.  I take these journeys, since entering grad school, oh I would say, a rough ten times a day.  I haven’t quite determined if it is to my advantage or disadvantage, mostly.  It definitely serves me well in an academic setting, but I think trees/cars/birds/people/phones/mattresses/dirtcleaningtechniques/rock types/andvariousotherrandomthings might be getting sick of Ms. whit.


a personwhoisthinkingtoomuch.

Daily Cupcake: Holstee May

In Holstee Manifesto, life, Thoughts on May 3, 2012 at 2:32 am

Today’s cupcake is inspired by the Holstee Manifesto (as you know).


Awhile back, in this post I mentioned little Atticus Hansen.  Normally his mom, Cindy, posts on their blog to give updates on Atticus, share her feelings, and or share the adventures of the Hansen Family Bucket List–some of which have been pree-ty awesome if you ask me.  But today, when I logged onto their blog, there was something different.  The newest post read “My Turn” and as my eyes began to shift through the lines I soon realized today it was Atticus’ Dad writing.  As I read his words, a fathers words, about the shortness of his time with his son, doing the things they love the most, playing ball, I knew HIS words had to speak to you today–not mine.

Sometimes friends ask me why I would want to read a blog about something so sad.  A valid question.  I think I was really drawn to Atticus’ story because he is so close in age to little e and everything I read about him reminds me of my little boy (his wit and coordination).  If there’s one thing I have recognized in life, it’s that we learn best how to seize our own experiences through synthesizing others’.  I can say without a doubt, I will never again take for granted each and every ball game little e plays.  I take time to watch him after he falls asleep, to focus on his every little feature when the buzzing stops and he finally rests.  I take time to write down the funny things he says.  I don’t know that I always did this to the degree I should have been doing this.  Atticus has taught me that.

Because life is short, we should never pass up the opportunity to help others and dedicate our life to just that.  Next weekend, little e and I are going to send something special to Atti in the mail (this makes his life so much brighter)–we don’t need to know him personally to serve him. I encourage you to do the same.  Take the time out of your day to brighten the life of a very special four year-old–even if it’s just a card–because LIFE IS SHORT.

Mr. Atticus Hansen
462 Fenwick Drive
Sunnyvale, TX 75182

Daily Cupake: Holstee May

In Holstee Manifesto, life, Thoughts on May 2, 2012 at 5:54 am

Since this is a new month, HELLO MAY, I’ve decided to do something a little bit different with the cupcakes.  I’ve decided to dedicate them to the Holstee Manifesto; each one will address one proclamation within it and offer an inspiring thought that relates.

Today’s is:


That’s right, it is, and I ran across this on Pinterest.

I think sometimes it can be overwhelmingly sad when people move, or breakup with you, or decide not to be a part of your story anymore.  That’s hard.  It’s hard because of all of the memories and the connections you had with them, but life is a story and characters come and go (if you don’t understand this try reading some George Eliot).  Oddly enough, I experienced this in the shower tonight.  I was thinking about things like, graduating, moving, breakups, all at once.  All the change, it was hard to think about but then I thought about all the new characters that will have the opportunity to enter our story.  Ms. whit, little e , and Ini, will have a whole new plot.

“This is your life.” You control it. The only person your destiny is always tied to, the one person who will never leave, who will always be a part of the story, yourself.

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