I am so grateful on this Mother’s Day.
I was thinking about all of my blessings today, especially those revolving around my little e, having him in my life, that’s the ultimate happiness for me. I am reminded time and time again what a gift a mother’s love is–a gift God gave me almost seven years ago.
I wish I could remember every little thing e has said to me over those years, it’s terrible forgetting. There are certain moments in motherhood that I wish I could freeze forever and replay them over and over in real time. Like the other night when little e and I had a conversation about his future career moves,
“Mooom, I just don’t think I am going to make it very far in life. I mean, I don’t even know what I am going to do for a job yet! Mom these are the types of things you need to start thinking about at my age (he’s a ripe ol’ 6).”
I was laughing, there at the table, and I couldn’t make myself stop. I thought, “this is it, this is the best thing in life–ever–hands down.” I remember being pregnant with e and being so scared–terrified really. I was thinking, this thing, it’s in my body, and it has to come out–there’s only one exit door too! Man oh man. Talk about being on edge for 9 months, well, actually 10 when you add it all up. But I was different, I was REALLY on edge and quite possibly, if I hadn’t been so sick, might have signed up to delegate him my uterus’ permanent resident. I had no idea, not a clue what was to come. I was a really weird pregnant woman (most are in their own special way), and I wasn’t really into the whole ‘I’m going to be a mom’ thing. I didn’t feel connected to the baby inside me, and I didn’t know how that connection would ever prove possible. Until…
he was born.
In light speed things change, an instant really. I’d say its a tacked on blessing…God goes, wham bam, these two are going to make the best team.
and we do.
It’s not always perfect, but it’s always beautiful. It’s worth every tear, every tantrum, every kiss, every hug, every goodnight, every good morning, every blowout, every midnight bottle, every lost blankie, every embarrassing moment, every millionth question, every why, every how, every what is that, every I don’t want to take that medicine, every story read, every broken vase, every homemade card, every soccer practice, every bit of throw up, every ‘just one more’ and ‘please don’t go,’ every mom ‘I’m scared,’ every timeout, every ‘do I have to,’ every ‘Mom, I love you as much as…”
a thankful mom.