Day 41: Love Is Not A Right

In Love on April 26, 2012 at 4:44 am


Some days it is just shocking to me that this my life, I am raising this boy on my own, and there is no one to share in this journey, no one to come home to and talk about my day, no one to kiss goodnight. Today is one of those days.

I was reading the blog of a friend of a friend last week and she posted a picture of a silver necklace with a tiny bell attached.  Her young, dying husband had given her this necklace on their last Valentine’s Day together and tucked inside the box in which it came was a little note that read,

A song’s not a song til’ you sing it…

A bell’s not a bell til’ you ring it…

Love wasn’t put in your heart just to stay…

Love isn’t love til’ you give it away!

I thought that was so cute and such a perfect testament to the nature and beauty of love.  It got me to thinking as I was leaving campus today and walking to my car.  I was contemplating how love is truly a privilege.  We are so lucky to be able to love others!  Whether it be our children, spouse, parents, brothers, sisters, even friends–God entrusts us with this beautiful expression and what a blessing it is that we can both gift it to others and also be a recipient of its gracious offerings.  I then realized, it has been necessary for me to experience the pain of loneliness, the hardship of single parenting, the sting of divorce, all of this has been necessary for me because I didn’t previously understand what it means to love someone and what it means to give love away.  It hasn’t been until I’ve experienced this tremendous loss that I have come to understand its purpose and relation to LOVE–I think we come to know things the best in their absence.

As a friend and I were walking to class today, she mentioned to me that she was going to stay at her parents’ tonight.  Jokingly she said, “I have to get away from my boyfriend–he’s driving me nuts!”  Then we began to talk about why, and she said, “It’s really just me.  I’m allowing things to bother me that really shouldn’t.  He’s great.”  It was a funny moment because I remembered the countless times in my marriage when things bothered me that really shouldn’t have.  Not that I was a terrible person during my marriage, but I realize now that loving someone is allowing those things to roll off your back.  It’s realizing the love is what life is really about and not the ‘things’ or the momentary distractions.

I guess I wanted to share this because maybe someone else will read this and learn from it.  Maybe they won’t have to learn the hard way like I’ve had to.  I don’t know when I will be graced with ‘someone to love’ in a romantic way once again, but I know now that loving someone isn’t something we’re guaranteed.  It’s not a right, it’s a privilege to be able to share it with another.


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