Archive for September, 2011|Monthly archive page

Day: 31

In Esteem, Faith, Happiness, Humanity, Mother, Thoughts, Women, Writing on September 20, 2011 at 5:33 am

give me the strength to accept the things that I cannot change

and the courage to change the things that I can.

Daily Cupcake: Saying Hi

In Friends, Happiness, Humanity, Laughter, life, Thoughts, Women on September 19, 2011 at 4:26 am

Today’s daily cupcake is just a bit of advice: talk to a stranger every once in awhile.  You might surprise yourself.

Today I randomly questioned a girl about her North Face backpack because I’d never seen one like it.  I figured she got it abroad.  It spurred an entire conversation about her recent arrival in the States as a Korean exchange student.  She told me, “you are the person I admire the most–the person who can speak the perfect English.”  While not always true, and her English was quite fantastic, it was a compliment that made my somewhat difficult day a little more cheerful.  We ended up exchanging emails and have become facebook friends.  She has offered to help me with anything I would like to know about Asian culture.

You just never know who you will meet by reaching out a little beyond “your zone.”  You might even make a lifelong friend and those are hard to come by.

Being A Mom: Day 30

In God, Happiness, Humanity, life, Love, Mother, Parenting, Stories, Thoughts, wit, Women, Work on September 19, 2011 at 4:18 am

As I was walking through the bookstore the other day I saw this book and thought, “shit, there goes my idea.”  [Laughing] perhaps I can recover from this catastrophe somehow.  One can only hope.  Maybe if I add a spin on it and name the book, “How To Be Happy–While Living in a Port-O-Potty.” Of course, that would require me to go homeless, which is plausible I suppose.  In fact, as I was walking to class the other day I felt like I had somehow become the embodiment of Will Smith in film The Pursuit of Happiness.  I am being a little melodramatic.

Tonight it took me two minutes to answer the question , “black or pinto beans.”  I didn’t want to blabber pinto amidst tears, so I just stood there fighting them and then was finally able to speak, “black.”  I changed my mind two seconds later to pinto, instead.  Then, since I was ordering vegetarian, the guy said to me, “you know they have bacon!”  Like I’m some kind of vegetarian sinner, he cast his guilty eye, “yes, I know they are “roasted” in bacon, whatever, if I ever find an actual piece in there I will let you know.  Hasn’t happened yet.

I considered eating my burrito at Chipotle, but I eventually decided to take it home.  Then I sat at my table and stared at the beautiful flowers sent to me just yesterday.  About midway though I couldn’t take it any longer, so I just laid my head down and cried.  Little e wasn’t sent home on his flight today, and I miss him.  I’m exhausted, sad he won’t be to school tomorrow, and worried I won’t get to spend his birthday with him on Wednesday.  Ironically, I was able to read through my last posting,  which forced me to remember what it means to be a mother.  It means that sometimes we have to do hard things, sometimes we have to make sacrifices (and our children have to make sacrifices) in order to grow together. I think that’s what makes the best moms.  It’s not the ones who stay home with their kids (although some would argue this is), or those who know how to construct the perfect cupcake for their child’s birthday party, or even those who breastfeed for two years and let not an ounce of formula touch the lips of their infant.  It’s the mother who shows her child how much she loves him by bettering herself for him/her.  It’s the mother who while bettering herself shares that betterment with her child (a gift that will keep on giving for generations to come).  It’s the mother who always takes the time, no matter how busy life gets, to give her child what she can.  Sometimes, when life is busy, its the little thats given that means the most.

I am missing little e tonight, and I hope tomorrow brings resolve.  I hope he knows I wish I was spending time with him tonight, even though it may not be the most, it’s the most meaningful when we share it.

A whit-ing mom.

Photo taken by Angie Hill @ Google Images.

We’ve ticked our way to six: Day 29

In Uncategorized on September 17, 2011 at 6:43 am

As we approach that time of the year again, my favorite time, I remember that day my little e was born.  I lie in my bed, and I can remember the exact smell of the air, a slight chill as the wind blew very softly. and the apprehension welling within me.  I was so excited to be a mom.  I would get to teach him to run, and ride a bike, spell his name, eat with a spoon, construct a puzzle.  Wonderful, wonderful things. His first cry was accompanied by my happiest cry as I peeked at him in the corner, and then they laid him on my chest.  He was warm and quiet.  His little eyes gazed up and found mine, exactly.  We met.  I knew then that  God had given me the greatest gift I would experience in life–a love like I could never have imagined.  One look, that’s all it took, and I knew from that moment on I would dedicate my life to him.  As we transitioned from the hospital to our home, because I was so eager for my own space, I remember the peace and tranquility within those four walls.  That was a heavenly space.  I often tell others of my newborn love, the midnight cries don’t seem to matter when you have celestial bundle in your sphere.

I watched little e play the other day and noticed his height, the length of his arms, how big his once little feet have grown, and then we wiggled his two bottom teeth.  He responded to my steadfast stare with his usual smirk.  He’s so busy.

I heard the phrase, “You is kind,  You is smart.  You is important” during a recent film.  I thought it a wonderful thing and decided I would start telling little e, daily.  The first night, as I tucked him into bed, we completed our three kiss, three hug ritual.  Then I bent close to his face and said my sweet e, “you are kind.  you are smart. you are important.”  He giggled, and then pondering my words asked, “Mom, why am I important?”  I told him he is important because he has blessed the lives of his parents in a way he could never imagine.  Then he questioned, “Who else thinks I’m important?”  I told him his teacher, his friends, grammy, grampy, Katy, Andre, Michi.

“Mom, I’m glad I’m important.”

Thinking back on that day he was born, I knew when I saw his face that he would always be the most important, special thing in my life.  Now as he approaches age six, and begins to explore the world and language, I realize how critical it is to make sure I not only show him but that I articulate his worth in my life and the lives of others .

As I was making lunch he asked me again, “What’s that that you always tell me mom, I’m smart, I’m important, and….what is it?”  “You’re kind Rocky, my kind, sweet, little boy.”  Oh yes, Mama, I’m kind.”

Little e, when you reach for the stars don’t forget who you are and please don’t turn around and grow up way too fast.

I love you my smart, kind and very important little munchkin.  Happy Birthday! (a little soon)



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