Play the Game or NOT: Day Nineteen

In Articles, Blogging, Dating, Humor, Romance, Sex, Thoughts, wit, Women, Writing on November 17, 2010 at 8:27 pm

Oh, the frustration.  Sometimes I feel like I’m navigating my way through a corn maze, turning this way and that, never reaching an endpoint, an escape.

I can remember being twelve and waiting for the day when I could go out with friends, drive my own car, and go on a real date.  Ha.  Been there done that, and at twenty-six I’m beginning to wonder what fourteen years of dating (with a few intermissions) does to the soul and the brain.

So, I got to thinking, what has changed?  Well, certainly the dating process.    When I was sixteen boys, I emphasize boys, picked me up from my house, in their cars, and met my parents.  Okay–there’s a process, a gentlemanly one, I could do without the adolescent parental meeting but the offer of a pickup would be nice.  I’d probably deny, given my current safety measures, but again it would be gentlemanly.

Then we’d go on the date, probably drive to restaurant or a movie, after which we’d return home.  He’d drop me off.

Huh.  Well, at twenty-six, I’m getting offers for coffee (which I don’t even drink for pleasure) and/ or a cocktail, really?  I’m going to be pretty hungry– but highly caffeinated or a bit intoxicated, that’ll do.

No movies.

No food.

No pickup.

No drop-off.

Um, why am I dating again?  I’ve decided it’s  a political game–the politics of the heart, gender, and mind.

Or maybe it’s all just one big sex conspiracy.  I’ll have to meditate on that one.

a dating whit.

  1. I think it depends on how you meet the person. If you meet someone through the Internet, how do you know they are not some stalker freak or something?

    Meeting in a public place such as a bar for a drink seems like an acceptable first “date” with someone you have never met. It’s not really even a date. It’s date #0. It’s an opportunity to meet the person in a safe environment to see if you click. If you don’t click you only have to spend 30 minutes with them, excuse yourself, and away you go.

    If you do click and both parties are interested in continuing, then date #1 should most definitely meet the attributes that you outlined in your blog post!

    • I agree, somewhat, however–there are ways to be safe and still meet someone for more then caffeine and/or alcohol. Additionally, there are other types of meetings that could (if need be) have a short timeframe or get-out-quick mode. I just think this whole coffee thing is a bunch of crap. What happened before Starbucks on every corner?

      I disagree with you–meeting at a bar for first date is totally unacceptable in my opinion. That is the last place I want to meet someone whether it’s for date #0 or 1, 2, 3, 4, etc. Plus, I don’t know how often I have felt “safe” in a bar, kidding, partially. Plus, it’s loud, really loud, and that’s not amenable to a good conversation of any sorts to let you know if you even do want to, “get out quick.”

      I propose men get a little more creative and I also propose women start demanding it. I know I will. And, just so it is mentioned, this is not about spending money. It’s about being able to meet someone, doing something both people enjoy, with a little effort and thought put into it–even if it is, as you say, date #0. Whatever happened to making a good first impression? The way you put it, dating, almost seems fatalistic.

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