Day 17: Ambiguous Lives

In Blogging, Friends, Happiness, Humanity, life, Love, Parenting, Stories, Thoughts on November 6, 2010 at 9:38 pm

Sometimes things happen in life that you just do not have words for.  I feel speechless today; however, writing is my avenue, my liberation, so here I sit pattering away.


A new girlfriend and I sat conversing at the park the other day.  Getting there, to have that conversation, was a feat in and of itself.  Lately life has been hectic and my current daily schedule has provided me a new situation, one of isolation (only partially joking).  Aside from my hectic daily life came also the apprehension.  I guess I found myself judging a bit. I’m never too good with putting myself out there, new friends, this was our first meeting.  I’m afraid they’ll judge me.

Arriving at the park, we met, and everything seemed great.  She reminded me of someone I once met, but I still can’t put my finger on it.  However, it was someone I really cared about…her spirit was so pure.  Not at all what I had expected what I had judged.

Back to that conversation, strangely enough, we talked about social constructs and molds.  “Everyone” thinks they “know” you.  Thinks they know what you should be doing, are doing, but in reality, what’s really true?

Molds don’t work for people.

Everyone has their own unique situation(s) accompanied by a variety of hardships.  We all handle these situations so differently as well.  In my mind, as we’re talking, I saw the dominos, all lined up, and then bam one by one they fell, knocking down the one before them.  Perfectly, they follow the path in which they are placed.  That’s not people, instead we curve, we deviate, we omit, sometimes we stupdify.

I got to thinking about all the times in my life I have judged, been judged, and all the limits I have placed on others and myself.  What a detriment to do so, but we all do it.

To tie things together a girl in my Minority Lit class said the following with regard to humans…

“My friend asked me the other day.  What are you?  What ethnicity are you?  I told him, don’t ask me that.  Don’t try to confine me.  I’m ambiguous brown.”

I like that.  It doesn’t just apply to our skin color–our lives are ambiguous brown.  We’re all just trying to do the best we can and we all do it differently and that’s okay.  There is no need to confine it, define it, fit it into a mold.

The conversation at the park ended, “we’re all just human and we’re all just trying to do the best we can.”

  1. […] ago now, I made this post about my friend [now one of my best friends].  It was an unlikely friendship, but here we are […]

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